Words of wisdom from the peanut gallery!

I know that a lot of the folks who read this Blog are people who are soon-to-be adoptive parents. So, having been there and done that, here are a few things I think we did right and a few we'd do differently. Obviously, every trip is filled with too many unknowns to be able to plan precisely, but take this for what it's worth. :-)

1. We met with a naturopath/homeopath a few weeks before our departure date. She gave us a bunch of pills to take before/during/after our trip, mainly concoctions that she had put together for us. Because some of these weren't recomended for kids, she had us give Thomas a special type of yogurt we got at a health food store to strengthen his stomach for a few weeks before we traveled. He loved it so it wasn't an issue. None of us were sick in China. She also gave me things to help deal with issues like lice and scabies should they come up, thankfully, neither did.

2. We had our Twinrix series of shots - 2 before our trip, one upon our return, although ideally, you'd start early enough to get all 3 shots before travel. I think there's now an "accelerated" version of Twinrix out there.

3. Bring a backpack style diaper bag with a cup holder type side pocket and get a bullet style thermos that fits in there. Our baby insisted upon hot formula, you won't know what yours will want until you meet him/her. Worse case scenario, ditch the thermos in China. It could either be a lifesaver or totally useless, for us, lifesaver it was! And the backpack diaper bag worked well because sometimes you feel like you need 4 hands as it is, wouldn't want to need one for a diaper bag as well.

4. Try to make a list of things you'd particularly like to purchase while in China... either work hard at getting all the stuff or if you're traveling with some extra people like parents, siblings or friends, give them some money and your list. We ended up buying so little in China, I really regret it now. My sister was with us and she loves to shop so if we'd been smart, we would have given her money and told her to have fun and now whe'd have a whole lot more souvenirs of our trip.

5. Bring a box or two of Zone bars or any such things that you can stomach. There were days when Emma was having a hard time and eating didn't make the priority list for mom or dad so at least there was always something quick and somewhat edible on hand. Also, because our son came along, we brought along a jar of peanut butter and a ton of other snacks which were really needed as he's a pretty picky eater at the best of times! Thomas brought along his own little carryon suitcase and it was filled with toys and snacks. BTW, so thrilled we brought Thomas with us... we kept going back and forth on that point, but it was wonderful to have him along and Emma adored him from moment one!

6. We kept in touch via computer (we brought along a laptop, it was a tiny one and I'd definitely do it again) and while we never did get a phone card that we could figure out, it was much cheaper for people to call us than the other way around. For instance, MIL called us almost every day when she'd get up and we'd be winding down our day in Asia and it was nice to get a little taste of home. Also, having the computer allowed us to easily download our pics every day while Emma was napping or when we had some downtime in the evening or all those times when I was up for the day at 4:00am!!lol It also allowed us to Blog and keep everyone up to date on our trip. Also, one of the families in our group had their camera stolen - they lost all their pics up to that date - having somewhere to download the pics, even if it's a USB stick thingy, is important. We also brought a video camera. We didn't use it much but did have it to videotape the moment when we met Emma and that's really priceless.

7. If you're bringing children along on the trip, if there's any way at all, bring along another adult. My sister came with us and her help was invaluable! Our time in China was so much easier because she was with us. I was always so nervous about losing sight of Thomas when we were out and about in crowded places and it was nice to know that on top of Gary and I keeping an eye on him, Susan, who didn't have Emma to distract her, focused all her attention on keeping Thomas safe and happy. It was also nice when we had to go to some appointments for Emma that he got to stay with Susan and do something fun rather than come wait around with us for hours while we got paperwork done.

8. Gary speaks Mandarin so he could get himself where he was going, but the rest of us wore lanyards with a little card in a plastic sleeve. One side had a little picture of Emma and explained that we were North American and in China to adopt our daughter. When people approached us and we couldn't communicate, we could always show them the card. The other side of the card said something to the effect that we were lost and needed to get back to our hotel or have someone contact such and such a person and in the plastic sleeve that this card was stored, we always had our hotel's business card as well as our guide's name and cell phone number.

9. We regret not visiting the orphanage. A few things out of our control made the trip more difficult than orginally planned. Most of the families in our group had expressed an interest in visiting the kids' orphanage which was about a 3-4 hour drive away. When it came down to it, everyone was too exhausted and the planning got too complicated and plans to visit got cancelled. We wish now we'd perhaps hired a driver to take Gary there and have him visit the SWI and surrounding area, speak to some nannies and take some pics, hopefully including Emma's finding spot. We hope one day to go back to Guangdong Provine and visit the area where Emma lived for the first 10 months of her life.

10. We brought way too much clothes for Gary and I. The fact is, every hotel room has a clothes line over the tub and getting laundry done is cheap, not to mention that you'll look like hell and you won't care. One mom who was on her 2nd adoption trip brought TWO pairs of pants... I think I had five or six which was about 3 too many... total waste of luggage space!! I did go to Tilley's and get a few pieces of travel wear which were wonderful. I got quick dry pants that had zips so they could turn into shorts (yeah, very stylish!!lol), quick dry socks, underwear and quick dry/wrinkle resistant shirts. Because we were going to 2 very different climates (Guangzhou and Beijing), we tried to bring as many clothes that could do double duty, such as the turn into shorts pants and jackets with zip out linings! We should have brought more clothes for Emma - we forgot how many times babies have to be changed in one day!lol We did use the laundry service and it was quick, efficient and cheap.

11. I brought a cheap pair of slippers to wear in the hotel room and on the flights. Let me tell you that by the end of a 16 or so hour flight, you will NOT want to use the washroom in your sock feet and you will have kicked off those shoes hours before and you'll be lucky if you can get your feet back in them!!lol

12. We had a shoulder style carry on FULL of medicine. Name it, we had it. We had enough antibiotics on us to cover the whole group!!lol We did see a naturopath and hoped we could handle whatever came along naturally, but we brought along every medicine known to man and I would again, although we didn't need any of it. We also brought along tons of stuff for Emma, everything from antibiotics to cough syrup, Tylenol, Nix, etc. etc. We didn't need anything, but some people did and they didn't have... we all felt much better knowing that if we did need some meds, we had them on hand. The last thing I'd want to do is have to go to the market and try to figure out what a bottle of Tylenol should look like in China!!lol Let me add that when we brought Emma to the hotel clinic to have her ears checked since she kept pulling at them and seemed uncomfortable, the doctor left the room and the guide told us she was going to get her special tool to check ears - well, we've all seen that little light thingy the pediatrician uses right - wrong... I swear to you she came back with a huge Eveready flashlight and used it to look in Emma's ears... gee, wonder why she saw nothing unusual!!lolol If I'd known, I could have done that with the flashlight in my luggage, didn't have to wait around for a doctor!!lol

13. I printed up the name of every international medical emergency clinic in each of the cities we stayed. Yeah, I know I sound paranoid... I prefer to think of it as better safe than sorry!!lol Again, didn't need them, but glad to have them on hand. We also got travel insurance above and beyond what was provided by our credit card company.

14. I worried and worried and spent hours figuring out what gifts to get the nannies. We never handed a gift directly to anyone and no gifts were ever acknowledged. It was such a "non" event during the process, if I were to do it again, I'd pick up a few nice little things but in no way would I fret about it.

15. We sent a camera to the orphanage. I know there are mixed thoughts as to whether or not this should be done but we decided to try it as our research seemed to indicate that this particular SWI was open to receiving packages for the kids. We only sent a disposable camera, an album with photos of us, our home, our neighbourhood (mainly so the nannies would know where Emma was going, but hoping they might show her and discuss her new family) and goodies for the nannies. We did not include anything for Emma that might require any extra work for the nannies - no toys, blankets, stuffed animals, etc. Every family in our group who sent a camera got pictures back.. pictures of our baby from before we met her are of course priceless. Also, when it came to donating things to the orphanage, we brought a bunch of cotton t-shirts. We saw in the pics that our babies only seemed to wear t-shirts and some sort of Chinese undergarment which we can't quite distinguish in the photos so we didn't send anything we thought they wouldn't use like onesies, dresses, etc.

16. GET A SEAT FOR BABY!! You might get lucky and have an empty seat in your row, but it's not a chance we were willing to take. Our flight home was LONG and no way we could have just sat there, stuffed in like sardines and with a baby on our lap. I know some people do it and bless them, but if you can afford it, get the extra seat for baby. We actually ended up getting 2 extra seats so we'd have some legroom - DH is 6 foot 5 - it was nice to have a little extra legroom. And if it's possible, get a DIRECT flight!! Most families in our group took a connecting flight. It was easier to fly direct, especially when coming home with baby in tow.

17. Try the best you can to find the baby carrier that's right for you. We thankfully had 2 at our disposal because one was just awful and there's no way I could have used it for more than about 5 minutes! Also, I remember someone telling me to use some of my wait time strengthening my arms - lifting weights and such... yeah right. Well, I swear after carrying a baby around for a couple of days and thinking my poor arms were going to fall right off, I sure wished I had listened!lol At the very least, bring some Motrin!lol As for should you buy a stroller there, bring one or skip it altogether, it's a tough call. We bought one there and really never used it other than in the airport, but it was convenient for that. Because we couldn't find a 5 point harness stroller in China, we couldn't really do much with the stroller since Emma stood right up it in, so if we'd brought a 5 point stroller with us, it might have been different. All this being said though, it really was nice to just hold her and carry her close to us. :-)

18. Read, read, read, read about adoption, China, attachment, etc. but don't freak yourself out. There are an awful lot of books out there about everything that can go wrong, but odds are, things will go mainly right. Read enough to know the basics, to recognize the signs of any problems, but don't read too much and get freaked out. Also, do some research and find out what services are available to children in your area - OT, PT, speech, attachment, etc. etc. so that if you do end up needing any of those services, you'll already have an idea where to look.

19. Be open to whatever happens in China. It helps not to have too many preconceived notions. The day you meet your baby could be amazingly beautiful, could be amazingly stressful, your baby may sob for hours or happily babble away. (S)he may be wearing a pretty outfit you'll one day frame in his/her room, or be like Emma, wearing a blue and white sleeper, two sizes too small, and carrying the pungent odour of a very dirty and wet diaper that had leaked through and obviously not been changed for far too long!lol Whatever the moment is, whatever the trip is, enjoy it and remember it.

20. And finally, CHEERIOS rule!!lol


Well, longer than I thought to begin with, but if anything else comes to mind, I'll update. :-) All and all, this was the experience of a lifetime!!! These are just observations based on our experience. I'm sure there's another blog out there where someone is telling you the best thing to do is ditch the thermos, bring a shoulder style diaper bag, skip the extra seat for baby, leave any kids at home, bring as many clothes as you can possibly fit into your suitcase and leave the laptop at home!!lol